On Adulting: Counting Gratitude
Most of the time I'm writing to rant or express my sadness. Perhaps it’s part of my coping mechanism, though it’s helpful, I sometimes wonder if it is unfair that I never write when I’m feeling good. It seems true that we create our best work when we’re depressed. How does creativity find its way when you’re in your worst state of being? What an interesting topic to ponder, let’s save it for another day because today I would like to give my Joie de Vivre self a space in this writing.
I realize there are many things to be grateful for. I’m not writing this now because I’m problem-free. Problems are always here and there, but sometimes I forget — so do good things! It’s also here and there. Sometimes I take them for granted because the problems glare and ruin my perspective. So let me put an imaginative shade this time, I would like to call it OptiHue, It helps me to see the good things without the problems overpowering the view.
I’m thankful for my man, the one whom I could share everything with, the one with whom I could be my total self, the one whom I’m always excited to meet, the one who makes my heart want to explode when I miss him, the one that I shared dreams, laugh and tears, the one that makes me hopeful of life. Bee, if you’re reading this — thank you.
I’m thankful for my family, though I could point out many things mine are lacking, though I sometimes hold grudges against them, though we don’t say “I love you” often, they’re still a family that I care for and love, and it’s enough for me to be grateful.
I’m thankful for life, the friendships I have, the music that I listen to, the books, and the movies that bring me excitement, the places I’ve been, the bright blue sky with fluffy clouds, the serenity of nighttime, the magical sunset, the sound of the waves, the pretty yarns that I would crochet, the random silly jokes, the coffee that I sip.
And in this tapestry of gratitude, I find appreciation for myself. For seeing beauty in the mundane, for always pushing to be her best self, for embracing lessons from her missteps, and learning to love and nurture herself more deeply.
These are but a few among countless blessings that grace my life. Some may slip my mind, forgotten in the hustle of daily life. I pray for a gentle heart, to be endlessly aware of my blessings, embracing gratitude with me wherever life leads.
One day, life might bring me down and all the problems might blind my point of view over and over again. When that happens, let this serve as a gentle reminder that I am indeed blessed.
